When You Know, You Know. It’s Not A Phase

December 13, 2016

Back in early 2010 we had our regular 20 week scan which also included finding out the gender of our second child. ‘It’s a boy’ they said. We were SO happy! Another little man, a little brother for Moon. Nothing could wipe the smile off our faces and the pride in Capt. Redbeard’s eyes.

To me though, something ‘felt’ out of place. I had never ‘wanted’ a girl, had never claimed to want a gender of any particular choosing. We were blessed with what we were given and were happy to just have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. This was far more than what some people in life received so we never ‘wished’ for anything different. Yet I had a feeling that the gender scan was wrong. I guess I can only describe it as being, the same way, ‘I felt’ my firstborn was a boy from early on and had his name picked and locked in pretty much the whole pregnancy. I don’t know why I had this feeling, it just was, and I had never actually remembered this until our journey came to light and we were looking back. We booked another out-of-pocket gender scan, a 3D one this time, and again the scan showed a male baby. This little blue bundle was progressing beautifully and we prepared ourselves for the arrival of our new little man.

On August 21st 2010, he was born. Although the labour was long and quite awful, we were, for the second time, over the moon with our growing family. His brother was smitten. I’ve never seen anything like the love in a child’s eyes the first time they meet their newest sibling. Such a beautiful moment.

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Everything went along in life as you would expect, no drama’s, just mum, dad and our two boys.  But as I look back now, there were always little signs. When Sun was old enough to be able to show her personality, odd things that we didn’t give a second thought to at the time, because, why the heck would you?!!

Thomas The Tank Engine was a HUGE fixture in our house for Moon. Always, there was Thomas, Fireman Sam and general programs directed to the male gender. Sun would NEVER watch these shows. I know it sounds strange. On one hand, you are happy that your child is not concerned with being entertained by the TV, on the other hand, you want ten minutes to pee by yourself. We tried all manner of shows to try our best to get Sun into something…Anything! The closest we got at that time was Fireman Sam, we saw some interest there and rode with it, but it didn’t last.

We had piles of stereotypical ‘little boy’ toys to play with. Sun would never play with them. We have close friends who have a handsome little man the same age and he was getting into these toys hard. We couldn’t figure out Suns’ disinterest. One thing Sun loved was when the garbage truck came weekly, so we jumped on it. We bought garbage trucks galore, big ones and little ones, Sun was happy with that. Phew!

Around age 2, we had a DVD of loads of different ABC shows. On this DVD was a show called ‘The Fairies’. This was the ONLY show Sun would watch of the selection available. She would go dress herself up with some of my shoes and a handbag and dance and sing to The Fairies. Again, we thought nothing of it because, again, why would you?! Loads and loads of little boys love singing and dancing. I think it’s wonderful for them to be able to express themselves creatively.

We then found a show called Peppa Pig. This was around two and a half/three years and I FINALLY got my ten minutes.

She adored Peppa Pig and wanted ALL the girl Peppa things! We were clueless, but thought we were doing the right thing to make her happy, and tried to get her focused on Peppa’s brother George, so that year, her 3rd birthday, she got a Peppa Pig cake, but all George things, schoolbag and T-Shirt. She seemed pretty happy with that. It was baby steps for us I guess.

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This was the start of us actually seeing who she really was. It’s totally a normal thing for some kids, irrelevant of gender, to prefer the pretty, sparkly, beautiful things that are marketed towards females. I mean, glitter is fun and bright, fun colours draw them in! Our oldest went through a small phase of wearing princess dress-ups at daycare. We laughed about it. We knew it was a phase, the same way in which we were to discover that what Sun was going through was NOT a phase. There are things that happen, things that are said, that make you learn.

As a parent, the coming twelve months from age 3, and years that have followed to where we are now at age 6 have been so full of learning, led entirely by her, so full of pride, because without the shining light of Sun, we would never have learned all we have.

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