Haha. How do you like my title there? I am quite the lyricist right?!
Today the time has finally arrived for me to say goodbye to this blog, and as difficult as doing this type of thing is, as any blogger will tell you, it’s something that I don’t love anymore and that must be done or I would not be true to myself. To be honest, it wasn’t a difficult decision, it was quite simple, but that doesn’t make it less sad because this blog and you guys have been such an important part of my life for so long now.
I want to speak a little about the goings on behind the scenes because I know almost twelve months ago, I was slowly building to this anyway in this post. The way things played out for me, brought on by myself, eventually hurt my heart so much and became something I could not push aside as much as I tried.
Over three years ago when I started this blog I was such a fangirl of various brands of polish. I wold covet the ones I didn’t have, search them out, I loved them so damn hard, which is something I’m sure many of you are familiar with. You could tell how much I loved them because of how I wrote about them. I wasn’t a crazy fangirl, but I was a fiercely loyal one. So when given the opportunity to swatch/blog/review for some of these brands, I put everything I had into doing the best I possibly could. This is something many bloggers do, they do all they can to ensure that the part they play is what helps to make that brand just that little bit more successful because they love the brand. My problem was that I always gave too much of myself. I have always done it. I had zero self-control over time management and therefore other areas of my life fell to the wayside because swatching those polishes, editing those photos, writing this fabulous blog post was more important to me than anything. For anyone new to blogging I urge you so much, manage your time better than I did.
Looking back now, at the time, this was not a problem, because it had, for me, become like an addiction. Truly. The other addiction is the numbers. Some people have said to me that I rose in this world very fast, and I guess that is a bit true. The numbers were going up and up and up, and the more people who visited and read, the more I wanted. I would get these messages about being ‘the place I come to to see the Australian indie polishes’ which was so inflating, so lovely, made me appreciative and grateful, but it also made me want more of that fame I guess you could say. Numbers can be so self satisfying to see, but they can also be your worst demon. It’s always a good thing to continually improve, to better your work, but not to the point where other areas of your life are missing out.
Not long after my announcement last December I was offered a pretty cool job which was just what I thought I needed as a) I was still able to be involved in the indie world, and b) it was a job, ahh my kids can’t eat polish for dinner, jobs are good and handy to have right?! When news came through about this job, without word, things changed, and to this day, I still have no idea why. Eventually I left that job for personal reasons, and tried to find my love for the polish again. I rebranded myself as I wanted a fresh start, I wanted so much to be in love with polish again, but it was gone and I couldn’t find it. How could I write and be honest and open when I didn’t feel the love anymore? For those who are just starting out blogging, give your whole heart, it will make you a better blogger, but be tougher and more resilient than I was.
So what’s going to happen here now? The blog itself will stay. I really don’t like when bloggers quit and their blog, all their time, their love, disappears with one click. I like looking back at my old post and going ‘what the hell was I thinking?’. The blog will move into categories in the menu bar where it will still be visible for those who may want to check on the older stuff. The website will remain in place for my business when I have time to sort it out, but it’s not going to take over my life at the moment.
I will be doing the Paint All The Nails link-ups until the end of this year. This group of bloggers have inspired me daily since I have known them with their grace, their passion and omg that talent! These ladies are my idols and everything I could never be. I love you guys!
I will still be swatching for Celestial Cosmetics, but I wont be blogging. I have never made my friendship with Nicki a secret, I have always reviewed her products with the same honesty and passion that I did for everyone else, but she is the one true polish making friend who has, without question, without faltering, stood by every decision, dumb and good, I have ever made and supported me whether she personally agreed with it or not.
And to you, my readers, those who have religiously read my words or viewed my images, and those who have just dropped by to check something out quickly, thank you so much. You are what made doing this worthwhile. If I ever inspired you to go and buy just one nail polish than I know I did something right somewhere along the way. Some of you who I have come to know better, although always from behind this computer screen, have been so very kind to me which is something I never expected much less knew might happen.
From the bottom of my heart thank you for all your love and support over all this time.